OUR PLAYERS | portcampbellcricket

As a club, we know there's no 'I' in the word team. (Well ok, there is if you translate "team" into 'equipo' - it's Spanish equivalent - but we reckon you'll get our point.) Every one of the Swans' players is a team man, playing to the utmost of his ability but keeping an eye on the bigger picture. He'll give it his all, but never forgets why he plays the game in the first place: for fun and the enjoyment that comes with getting involved in the team, and club. So on that, we've created this page to throw up a bit of light-hearted info about some of the Swans players. And if anything on this page could offend anyone, take it from us that we probably meant whatever it may have been that may have put your nose out of joint, to mean something different. (Hope that kind'a makes some sort of sense.)

Bassline Kickin' - Pegboard Nerds

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This week's featured track...

RHYS DAVIES. After a slow start to his Swans' career at the rear end of our 12/13 season, Rhys pulled on the Skipper's arm-band in 2013/14, and continues that to this day. Not only is a capable and worthy leader, he contributes with the bat and ball. He's a fit bastard and, when on-song there are few players who can match how he couples skill with endurance. Known for his love of his family, his tatts and knocking-up a decent kitchen in quick-smart time, Rhys is again looking solid for a power-packed 14/15 season. Don't be surprised to see his name pencilled into the end-of-year awards nominees.

2014/2015 SEASON SKIPPER

Matt Grant (Granty). The Club’s Vice President. A cricketer who thinks deep and long, Granty successfully settled into role as an opening batter over the back half of the Swans’ 2012/13 season. He’s also a more than capable fielder in his favoured position of short mid-on, to the point where he’s been known to throw down the stumps without actually being seen to move himself, such is the pace with which he attacks his fielding role. Provides excellent back-up support to the Swans’ wicket-keeper, and occasionally bolsters the Swans' bowling by airing his bag of tidy little offies.

DANIEL 'DINGO' PENDER. A Swans' skipper for several seasons, ‘Dingo’ Pender is a solid RH batsman and tantalising leg-spin bowler. Indeed, with bowling figures that could make "The Great Man" - Sir Warne - blush, Dingo provides a mid-innings assuredness to the Swans’ bowling attack. Dingo brings a kit-bag full of mesmerising goodies: offies, googlies, flippers, back-flippers, his Mum's slippers; wrong’uns, right’uns, sliders, gliders and shoulder-busters before finishing things off with his signature ball, "the Double-D"... Dingo’s Destroyer. Dozens of batsmen have returned to the sheds shaking their heads in disbelief after being fooled – yet again - by his DD. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. (So Cricket Australia... take note. If you’re looking for a spinner who’ll slip seamlessly into the Aussie squad, you could do a lot worse than our man Dingo. Perhaps. Maybe.)

ANDREW 'RAT' RYLANCE. A enigmatic* RH batsman and bowler, Rat offers strike-power and depth to the Swans’ batting line-up and a first-choice opening bowling option. He can generate his fast-medium bowling pace off a run-up that’s either five or 25 paces (which begs the question: why the additional 20 paces?) and provides a punishing batting presence when swinging the willow. To the opposition players; don’t let’s Rat’s somewhat casual approach fool you. His slow amble in the field? The shuffling between wickets? It’s all part of the Rylance Repertoire and more fool the player who chances his luck when Rat releases the rage. (*We are not 100% sure what 'enigmatic' means, but it seemed like a pretty good word to place at the start of that sentence.)

JOSH RICHARDSON. A punishing left-arm quick, Richo has been the Swans’ strike bowler for more years than we can count. (We reckon more than ten - which doesn't say much for our ability to count.) With a unique start to a lengthy run-in, he normally has batsman soiling their jocks through a combination of sizzling pace and ball-husbandry. And while he’ll never claim to be one of the world’s best batsman (for example, take a look at the image we've got of Richo 'hitting through the line'), his approach to the game, his never-ending on-field encouragement and overall approach to the club is a credit to the man. What's more, after spending last season chasing the rupee in India's IPL, he's returned to southwest Victoria to deliver his passion back to his beloved Swans.

JARRAD COOK (COOKY). A new-starter for the Swans in 2013, Cooky's solid performances have seen him offered a regular spot in Port's 1st XI this year. (Who are we trying to kid?... we only have one XI). To paraphrase his words, Cooky enjoys wielding the willow "when the ball's coming onto him" and, with lightening reflexes, has proven to be bloody handy fielder crouching down to pocket the rocks at the position of "You've-got-to-be-kidding?!-What's-he-think-he's-doing-fielding-there?-Silly-Silly-Point". Cooky plays with the blessing of Sarah, his wife, who runs Timboon's Hairitage hair saloon. Sarah is also the main provider for his flowing-locks and Melbourne-Metro styled haircut (see photo). As an aside, it is widely known around the district that Cooky absolutely LOVES Geelong's Cats. In fact, it's rumored that when they were scratched from the AFL finals earlier this year, he apparently went through a box of Kleenex tissues, after being unable to hold back the tears.

WOCKA PRICE. Club President. A fiesty bloke with a sensible and mature approach to his game, Wocka can be punishing with the bat and equally beguiling with the ball. He's a quick runner between the wickets, but displays an unusual running style in the field, which may explain his favoured fielding position at 2nd slip. A thinking man’s cricketer, Wocka has an eye for opportunity and is very quick to punish immature bowling on his favoured off-side. Has also been known to target close-in fielders with dazzling drives, sizzling slices and harrowing hooks so, if that’s what you feel you bring to the dance, our advice? Come prepared with your protective equipment.

MATTY FARMER. Ironically, in a team full of farmers - or blokes with strongs link to farming - from a side based in a village surrounded by farms, the bloke with the perfect surname for farming, isn't one. Anyway... when he puts his mind to it, this guy can bat. He's happiest batting up the order, when the ball's still new and normally coming onto the timber. He's also a handy slipper, normally standing somewhere close to Wocker.

MATT IZZO. An enigma wearing cricketing whites, 'Jizz' is renowned for his never-say-die attitude in all facets of the game. As an example of the lengths he goes to, take a squizz at the picture of Jizz, above. In that, he's dived in to field a sharply struck cut-shot that's somehow managed to end up the arse of a friesian standing at cow corner (where else?). And never being someone to shy from a challenge, Jizz simply yanked on a glove and dove right in, to field the cheery. What's more, after he'd retrieved the ball he still had the presense of mind to ask the question of the umpire... claiming what turned out to be a crucial catch! What a player!

SWANS PLAYER. Space reserved for a Swans 2014/15 player. Detail will come as the season rolls on, and the characters in the team make themselves known...

SWANS PLAYER. Space reserved for a Swans 2014/15 player. Detail will come as the season rolls on, and the characters in the team makes themselves known...

TONY McAULIFFE. A 43 y.o. who lacks anything that even comes close to what you may call talent. McAuliffe is one of the crappiest batsman you'll ever have had the misfortune to lay eyes on, and simply cannot bowl. Somewhat overweight and more than a little creaky in the field, anyone who's had the misfortune to witness him in action could only be left wonderig what the hell he's trying to achieve. Words, truely, fail to describe just how bad he is. Having said all that, he has found that he was ok at keeping the score-board up to date.